The Thing With The Panic Of The Unpredictable.

Sometimes you’re afraid that at some point it breaks. That everything you love, could be gone sometime simple. Your friends, your thoughts, the talent and your life. Your limb tingle as thousands maggots on your body to the beat of the heart beat would dance. The forehead hot, wet the nape. Panic. Because you know that you can save anyone. You are not and you yourself not.

Sometimes your voice shakes and knees become soft. Like a sick lamb you’re trying to keep you on your feet, but you will fall no matter how much you try. Whenever the bad conscience hits you right in the face, when friends realize that nothing is perfect. Because you can be not there, where it takes you, not everywhere at the same time. Your brother and sister miss you while you’re wondering whether they ever forget you. The last visit to the home was already months ago. What, if anything happens, when fate strikes faster than you thought, or the random wrong decisions? Then you watch from a distance and can do anything about it.¬†At such moments you wish, at some point, you were the first, which goes; so that you do not have to experience the pain, not once. How selfish of you.

Between paper waste and abraded pencils fear in the head rises friends again. This time neither the end of existence, but stopped. The despair about the lack of ideas, the anger over the inner pressure that stifles any good thoughts in the bud. Then you are afraid of losing your imagination and before that, that you can no longer be. Empty thought and sucked out, without any inspiration. Can the key to heaven idea rust ever? Everything is transitory and nothing is safe. Face it.

Tomorrow, your job could be gone, day after tomorrow your lover, next week your friends. The Sun could burn up or the world will end. Listen to you make, or you’re the one who simply fizzled at the end.

Because sometimes you cry because you know that there’s nothing you can do. Nothing and nothing in return. Because you’re all not more than soap bubbles in the immensity of the universe. The one to make it up in the sky, others burst on the first puff of wind. The unpredictability of things always scares you. The certainty that nothing is manageable, that of a safe path does not exist. Tomorrow everything can be completely different. Change you can’t help it. Because with every step you’re going to carefully, always a bit of luck goes by.

 

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